In the Name of Roses

Hi there!

How is life treating you lately? I hope all is well on your side of the world.

Today was a really dreary and cold day. The kind of day where all I’d want to do is stay in bed with a hot cuppa chai or a hot almond cinnamon chocolate drink and a good book.

But there were enough tasks to do, and so I got out of bed, took a hot shower, did my daily yoga and meditation and was off to work.

 

Appreciating the small things in life: roses. Digital sketch made with Ps and Ai.

 

One thing I got done today was to colour in my roses sketch I did on the weekend as part of the MATS Bootcamp roses study.

Roses are really tricky to draw. It’s like you see something and then when you put it down on paper, that what you had in mind looks nothing like what you executed on paper!

So, I tried again, and again, and again… until, after many failed attempts, I kind of got the hang of it. Or let’s say, I am not as intimidated by drawing them anymore.

In the following are the results of my weekend rose exercise sketches I dare to share:

Wild Roses: Pencil and black ink pen

 

Rosa Bourboniana: Pencil and black ink pen

 

And finally, the above shown digital sketch in pencil and black ink pen straight from my sketchbook. I made this one as a compilation of my rose exercise:

Appreciating the small things in life: roses!

 

I think this weekend and for the moment, wild roses turned out to be my favourite roses.

Not just because they are relatively simple to draw; because they are. But, their simple shape and pink colour tossed around haphazardly in a juicy green bush is so beautifully chaotic and charming. A bit like an abstract painting.

I guess it’s kind of in my nature as a Sagittarius to like all things wild. 😉

The other thing I noticed is, I must have quite a vivid imagination because while sketching, drawing, inking and working digitally on all roses, I had the feeling I could actually make out the scent of the roses as if I were sniffling in a bunch of roses as depicted in the above sketch.

Now where many artists and designers participating in MATS Bootcamp mentioned having had this on their mind ‘Roses are red, violets…’, I couldn’t help having the song: ‘I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden,…’ on my mind.

After a while, it felt a bit like a broken record, I must admit, and I am glad that I was able to knock it out of my mind.

But as for roses, what more can I say than: they are simply beautiful.


May your week be beautiful!


Save

How time flies!

I know, I haven’t been blogging for a while.

However, behind the scenes, there has been a lot going on since I last wrote. Let me sum things up a bit:

Writing a children’s book

Since last September, I’ve been working on a children’s book titled:

‘Miah & the Moon’

The story is about an intergalactic moon hopper named Miah. Her main purpose of existence is to keep all the moons in the Milky Way galaxy happy. All is well, until one day Earth’s Moon turns terribly unhappy.

I conceived this story while brooding over what to draw for Inktober 2016. In 2014 and 2015, I participated with rather random inkings. Last year, I wanted my inkings to follow a storyline.

A day after the full moon eclipse (I believe it was September 1?) a back spasm* hit me unexpectedly and I was forced away from my ongoing canvas work and into bed. Sitting, standing and walking for more than ten minutes in a row was pure torture for about two to three weeks. It was so frustrating having to interrupt painting on my Paradigm Shift series. Up to then, I had been advancing so well.

Then again, taking a different perspective, it was also a blessing in disguise. I had more than enough time to plot my story for Inktober 2016! Laying in bed on my back like a turned over turtle with only pencil and paper, I roughly plotted ‘Miah and the Moon’. I also worked on rough sketches of Miah’s character.

By the time it was October, my back was feeling better and I was able to sit long enough at a table to create my inked illustrations for Inktober following the rough plot of Miah and the Moon.

Now, good eight months later and after a lot of editing, having the story edited, getting feedback on it, reading it out loud to a varied audience and having it read out loud by others to me, I feel almost ready to consider sending ‘Miah and the Moon’ out to publishers.

I find this step scary. So scary, that I am procrastinating it away. But, I am hoping that the MATS Bootcamp (next paragraph) will help me boost confidence to prepare myself well enough to take me to that next big step.

Advice on best practice on how to get a children’s book as author/illustrator newbie published is very much welcomed and appreciated.

* In case you were wondering: I fully recovered from the back spasm. Actually, it was also a blessing in disguise as I became accustomed to jogging again. Yoga, jogging and enough back rest, too, did the trick. Now I am stronger and fitter than before the spasm. All is well that ends well. 🙂

MATS Bootcamp

Past March, I registered for ‘MATS Bootcamp’; an online course. This course runs for five months. Each month, we are given a creative assignment. Apart from me looking for an opportunity to build confidence regarding the design of a mock up for ‘Miah and the Moon’, for some time, I’ve been also browsing the internet for a while in search of a simple online course that could help me work on style development, consistency of style, discovery of new fields like surface pattern design, experiment with new techniques and mediums, etc.

Initial pattern design & colour palette

Although, MATS offers an ‘Illustrating Children’s Books’ online course it is the bigger financial investment compared to MATS Bootcamp. Not certain how well the courses of MATS will suit me, I thought it’s better to start with MATS Bootcamp and see how I like the process, structure, content and classroom. Then, I can estimate how comfy I’d feel with the ‘Illustrating Children’s Books’ online course.

So far, I am happy with MATS Bootcamp. It began in March. Creating a surface pattern design for a backpack was our first assignment.

This was a first at surface pattern design and mock-up creation for me. Despite initial challenges, I completed the assignment in time to upload it to the online gallery. I was quite happy with the result. But not just with the result being a backpack mockup with my surface pattern design on it, but also happy with how much I’ve learned, was able to experiment, and practice in the process. It was really fun.

 

Colour-adjusted pattern design and backpack mockup. I submitted this to the MATS online gallery.

This April, we need to create a mind map for the editorial (magazine) market. I am also fond of this assignment. Not that it will be any lesser challenging. April is a busy month for me though, so I hope I will be able to bring the assignment to completion. Mid April now, it doesn’t look good. Who knows, maybe I’ll be able to squeeze in some night shifts. If you’re interested, you can read more about MATS here.

My ‘500 Words a Day’ for 30 days challenge (Feb/March)

In short: it did not last 30 days.
But true is, although I did not write 500 words a day for thirty days, I was immersed in tweaking ‘Miah and the Moon’s’ word count as close to 500 as possible. Not easy at all! But, I am now at 750 from 900+ and feel I can let the word count tweaking rest for the moment.

As for now, I’ll be more occupied with the illustrations, the mockup of the picture book, being on the lookout for potential agents, publishers, etc.. Basically doing all kinds of research and familiarising myself with the current children’s book marketplace for author/illustrator submission process.

My personal sketchbook challenge

The 60 pages are not full yet. But I am up to 45 pages (I usually stop a sketchbook at about one-third of its capacity). So in 2017, I’ve broke a personal record and got further than I expected to with this sketchbook.

The thing is, I have the habit of drawing on scraps of paper. Of course, this is a rather messy approach of mine and my sketches end up scattered all over the

place.

You might be familiar with the scrap paper habit: I am terrified of wasting a sketchbook with ‘shitty’ drawings, sketches, inkings or paintings. Especially, when I see all the fancy sketchbooks on Pinterest or Youtube!

One

I’ve always got some at hand ready to grab when ideas race through my mind. Also, I feel freer on random paper. Just one shitty sketch can spoil my wanting to continue using the same sketchbook altogether. Even with just turning the page and heading to the next one, I know there is a page I don’t like in the sketchbook and I am irritated. Sounds stupid, I totally agree.

True, I could tear the (in my opinion) ruined page out, but I am not comfortable with this approach either. I could stick another blank page over the ruined one, but I never came around to doing this. To me, it is time-consuming to repair what has gone wrong compared to just starting new altogether.

It’s easier to just grab yet another loose piece of paper to sketch an idea before the creative moment is lost. Using scrap paper just seems more efficient than trying to fix a sketchbook. I don’t know how it is with you, but things I’ve made in the past that I detest, I just want to rid myself of it as quickly as possible.

Comforting the Inner Child

This time, however, things were kind of different. I really wanted a space to keep my creative experiments together before I approached the canvas (to me ‘ruining’ a canvas is worse than ‘ruining’ a sketchbook). And it worked really well for me! This method (change of thinking?) supported me with my ‘Paradigm Shift’ art series advancement and allowed for creative experimentations outside my comfort zone.

I do not like every page in the current sketchbook. But I am not bothered by the ones I don’t like so much. Some of the sketches (the ones I deemed as passable), I’ve posted on my Insta feed and on Facebook.

Luckily enough, some of the creative experiments inspired two more painting series. One being: ‘Spirit Animals’ with a limited colour palette (main colours: Gold/Pearl/White/Black) and the other being: ‘Micro Cosmos’, ‘One’, ‘Comforting the Inner Child’, ‘While You Slept with Eyes Open, I travelled with Eyes Closed’, ‘Peacock Dance’. For the latter, I am also envisioning a limited colour palette, but this idea has not fully ripened.

Selfie at my desk

But before beginning with any new painting series, I wish to finish the ‘Paradigm Shift’ series. Three down, two to go. I am so relieved because at one point I had the feeling I’ll never see the completion of the ‘Paradigm Shift’ series.

Although, having said that, ‘Paradigm Shift’ is last on my list of things to do, as I am giving ‘Miah and the Moon’ and MATS Bootcamp priority.

It is in times like this I would love to have clones of myself. Or maybe just a five pairs of arms would suffice too, so I could do it all at once. so Just being ‘humble’. 😉

Hope you are all doing well and wishing you a great second half of April!

Save

Save

Save

The Day Mikki Had Gone Lost

Sketch (9/6)

This week, I neither had the time to post my writing nor my illustrations.

So here is a follow-up of Tuesday’s sketch and writing:

Finding Mikki
Finding Mikki

 

 


The Day Mikki Was Lost (31-day writing challenge 7/31) (1186/500)

We once lived in a four-family building.

I was good friends with the neighbour’s children and we used to play on the backside of the building’s premises. Mikki would sit on the kitchen balcony and observe us play.

‘Mikki,’ I would call her sometimes, ‘all well up there?’ and she’d meow in response. Not sure if that represented a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’. I guess it was closer to a ‘no’ when soon after she’d walk along the narrow copper ledge that connected the balcony with the roof terrasse to chase birds instead of us.

It made me nervous watching her balance along the ledge and she did fall a couple of times. Luckily, we were always around to witness her fall and able to attend to her immediately. Apart from a few scratches she always remained unharmed as she usually would fall on the side of the grass patch below.

One late November, I came home from school looking for her. After searching indoors without success, I went to search on the kitchen balcony. When she was not there, I looked through my bedroom window that was facing the rooftop terrasse. With no luck there either, I went to the side of the living room and the living room balcony, as she sometimes would wait in front of this balcony door to be let back in.

I started to get a bit nervous. I went to my neighbours and asked if she possibly entered through their balcony door (Mikki had free access to both our balconies). Unfortunately, they hadn’t seen her, either.

At this point I was more than worried, I was terrified suspecting that she could have fallen off the roof.

I went upstairs to the old lady living above us. She remembered seeing a cat downstairs at the main entrance but shooed her away as she did not recognise her to be Mikki! ‘Oh no’, I thought to myself, ‘what a tragedy!’ I immediately went to search for her around the building premises. Nothing, no trace of Mikki.

I was devastated. Once my parents got home from work, I sobbed and told them what happened. Everybody of the building was alarmed and we all went searching for her in. But Mikki was nowhere to be found.

Back in my room, I felt empty. I could feel that the tiny little space she usually claimed for herself now left a giant void of nothingness. I was heartbroken, crushed, and concerned about Mikki’s wellbeing.

She was not used to being outside like this. She also had no idea of the dangers of busy streets and we lived on the main road of this small town. This street was often busy during peak hours with many trucks as it leads to the freeway. I hoped Mikki would have gone up the hill in direction of the fields and not down the hill across the busy main road in direction of the freeway!

The next day, my dad suggested we write a small column for the newspaper that our cat had gone missing. We lived in a really small town of about 6000 people, so placing an add in the local newspaper was not a big deal.

I did my part and wrote pamphlets with a description of Mikki and where and when she went missing and stuck them wherever I could. I also informed friends and teachers at school.

Days went by, still no Mikki. It was already mid-December and I was drowning in sadness wondering if she was ok. When some folks came up with the rumour she might have been caught to end up as a Christmas meal (how bizarre is that!?) terrified me.

Shortly before Christmas, our phone rang. ‘Good evening,’ the lady on the phone said, ‘I read your newspaper add about the missing cat and wondered if Mikki was still missing because I happened to have seen a cat that fits your description.’ My parents and I immediately jumped into the car and drove to the area Mikki may have been sighted. But it was getting quickly dark and we didn’t spot a cat.

We called the search off. ‘Thank you for your help,’ my dad said, ‘and please do let us know if you see this cat again.’ Disappointed we got back in the car and headed home.

Christmas came and passed. It was a sad one.

On December 31st we received another phone call. This time it was a different woman who lived in the opposite direction of the first suspected sighting. This made us very doubtful that it could be Mikki but we wanted to stay positive.

‘You two go check. I cannot come along as I don’t think I can handle the pressure of another possible disappointment.’ my mum said.

With hope in our hearts, my dad and I jumped into the car and drove to this lady’s home.

Upon arrival, two small dogs barked at us in excitement as we entered the apartment.

‘For some days, I’ve been observing this cat in the neighbourhood’, the lady said, ‘this one looked too skinny and dirty to be accustomed to outdoor life. She also seemed hungry and frightened. So I took her in. My neighbour remembered your newspaper add and kept it in case she would spot the cat.’ she continued. ‘Follow me, I brought the cat into the guest room and closed the door so she is not stressed about my two dogs. As you can see, they are very curious and lively!’ the woman added and laughed as she led us down the hallway. The dogs jumped along.

‘Here’s the room’, she said and opened the door in a way the dogs could not slip in, ‘you can go in and see if this cat is Mikki.’

I entered into a long narrow room. There was a cupboard to my right and a single bed to my left. At the end of the room was a window. But no cat in sight. ‘She might be hiding under the bed’, the woman told me, ‘feel free to check.’ she encouraged me.

‘Mikkiiiiii!’ I exclaimed the moment my head touched the floor. Mikki came charging right at me and she practically jumped into my arms (a thing she never did, she hated to be carried). I stood up with Mikki in my arms. I was overjoyed!

I always wonder what Mikki must have experienced in those five weeks on her own. I hoped she had some good experiences. But the condition we found in her gave evidence that Mikki certainly had a rough time. Her teeth were broken, her fur was not white but yellow with car oil stains and she was only fur and bones.

Of course, we nicely pampered her and after a couple of weeks of rejuvenation, Mikki was quite the usual grumpy pants we knew and loved.

Home Spa

Sketch (7/60)

Last night, I did as I said I would and took my Epsom salt bath that made me sleep like a grizzly.

Bath Time: pigment liner, gouache, gold ink
Bath Time: pigment liner, gouache, gold ink

 


Home Spa (31-day writing challenge 6/31) (1112/500)

I truly love taking baths. And I’ve experimented with all sorts of baths. From bubble baths to milk baths to sodium bicarbonate baths to oil ‘baths’ to my all-time favourite bath: the Epsom salt bath.

So, let me share my bath evolution with you:

The bubble bath: not really sure how effective or healthy bubble baths are. But, they were always fun to get in and they filled the bathroom with a loving aroma.

I do not take bubble baths anymore because I had become suspicious of the chemical contents inside the bottles. I wondered whether a bubble bath was indeed a good thing for my body as well as how environmental friendly it was.

However, I did not give the bubble bath completely up until I discovered the milk bath. Since my first milk bath experience, I left the bubble bath once and for all behind me.

The milk bath: No woman lesser than Cleopatra herself, the queen of ancient Egypt, inspired my milk bath phase. After reading that she used to bathe in milk wanted me to get to the bottom of it.

My first milk bath got me hooked, as it was indeed quite special. Not only did my skin smell as sweet as a baby for hours after the bath but during the bath, I felt as if I was staying in a 5-star hotel presidential suite. For a good hour, I felt like a queen myself. It was a taste of paradise.

Surrounded by candles and burning incense, I would shut out the world and dive into bathing bliss. But after a while, it did not feel quite right to use milk in my bath for ethical reasons and I stopped after I discovered the Sodium Bicarbonate bath that had the ability to restore the acidic/alkaline balance of the body.

The Sodium Bicarbonate (SB) bath: this bath is really great if you have skin irritations, pimples or are suffering from acne. It is also beneficial to take these baths if you have a high ‘pitta’ dosha (‘fire’ constitution – Ayurveda) as it cools the body down.

I’ve never tried this but – thinking about it now – it may also be helpful to bring a fever down.

A ‘thing’ of mine with the SB baths: I loved to lay flat on the bottom of the tub and open my eyes and listen to the sound waves that were carried through the water. Quite the underwater world experience and it had a cooling effect on my eyes after hours spent in front of the computer.

Having said that, I would not necessarily recommend SB baths on a regular basis if you have a high ‘vata’ dosha (‘air’ constitution – Ayurveda) as it might cool you down and dry you up too much as it did with me. When I noticed that the Sodium Bicarbonate bath was not the best for my constitution on a regular basis, I discovered the Epsom salt bath!

The Epsom salt bath: these baths are heaven! Seriously, I love taking Epson salt baths. For a starter, because Epsom salts warm the body as they permeate the skin, even though the water is cooling down the body is heating up! What an awesome effect!

I also came once across a research paper that stated that giving the body magnesium through the skin was remarkably more effective than taking magnesium tablets orally. So while relaxing in the bath, I am giving my body the magnesium it needs! It also makes my skin as soft as silk.

And, Epsom baths are the antidote to insomnia. I am wondering why doctors prescribe sleeping pills when the most effective sedative is an Epsom salt bath?! Because of its sedative quality, I need to make sure I schedule the Epsom salt bath wisely or else I may not be able to get up in time the next morning. Bathing in Epsom salt makes me so tired that I fall into a such a deep sleep that lasts an hour or two longer than usual.

Last but not least on my bathing rituals list is the oil bath: Well, it is not so much a bath as it is an oil massage followed by a hot shower or bath. There are many articles online about treating yourself to Abhyanga (Ayurveda self-massage) at home and its benefits.

So let me just share my personal Abhyanga experience with you:

I mainly use coconut oil (as suggested by my Ayurveda doctor) that I warm up in a bain-marie. To create a relaxing atmosphere in the bathroom, I put instrumental background music, light candles and burn some incense. Then, I focus on my breath (abdominal breathing) and massage the oil deep into my skin from head to toe. Once I am done, I take a hot shower. I only use very little Dr. Bronner’s Baby Unscented Pure-Castile Liquid Soap to wash the excess oil off. After Abhyanga, I feel light, refreshed, and energised.

Even after showering, there is always a pleasant, thin layer of oil left on my skin to prevent it from drying out. But, especially in winter, I will add an extra layer of an aloe-vera-gel-coconut-oil mix after bathing. This way, all year round my skin stays firm, well moisturised and elastic with a healthy glow.

Another good thing about coconut oil is: it does not stain clothes!

 

For all those who have noticed that the illustration is fashioning a facial mask: indeed, I’ve also had my fair share of experimentations with facial masks leaving me with two favourites. But, I’ll share this in another post with you.


Do you have any bathing rituals or home spa you’d like to share and can recommend?


 

Floral Pattern

Today’s sketch (6/60) is a really quick one.

img_0203-jpg
Floral pattern: gouache and gold ink

 


31-day writing challenge 5/31 239/500

As for my 500 words today – it’s not going to happen.

I desire a long Epsom salt bath and wish to get to bed early for a change. Been sleeping like five hours max a night all week. The rest of the hours in my typical day are filled with a plethora of things to do. One task after the other. I’m either writing, painting, illustrating, planning, reading, coaching, etc.

In winter, with its limited sunlight, not sleeping enough can have negative effects on my health. Maybe, I’m related to bears that need their winter sleep for survival… I sure love honey as much as they do.

I certainly need to work out a better schedule and will probably need to ‘purge’ a couple of tasks, projects, and goals so that my attention is better focused on what is essential to me. I’ll study my planning thoroughly on the weekend.

Anyways, today is not even about not knowing what to write. After all, it was quite an eventful, interesting, and inspiring day.

But, I feel my mind, body, and soul need to shut down and stay shut down for a while – at least longer than 5 hours – the three can reboot tomorrow.

So, today is my official writing 500 words time-out day. I hope you had or are having a lovely Friday. Catch you tomorrow!


xoxo


Slug

Slug was on my mind today and made it into my sketchbook as well as into my 500 words contribution for today:

5th sketch in my sketchbook: slug
5th sketch in my sketchbook: slug

Slug messenger (31-day writing challenge 4/31)

The Golden Slug Trail
The Golden Slug Trail

Slug turned out to be one of my five spirit animals for this year because, just before the new year I had three encounters in a row. Slug crossed my path washing salads.

The first slug I encountered was a small one. I immediately put it outside. Temperatures were still above freezing point and – as far as I could estimate – fine for slugs to find a new home.

The next day, again while washing a salad, I found another slug. This one was slightly larger. The weather outside was still fine to put the second slug immediately outside, too.

Another day passed and while washing yet another salad for dinner (not the big salad eater, but in the past few weeks I had this strong craving and am indulging in many salad side dishes). This time, I discovered an even bigger slug that almost got flushed down the drain!

I do not like the idea of being responsible for the death of an animal. You may be guessing that I am vegetarian. You’re right. It’s just another one of my ‘things’. I am neither judging anyone for eating meat nor am I interested in converting anyone to vegetarianism or veganism. I have no interest in getting into an endless ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ conversation. Everybody needs to figure the meat/nomeat thing out for themselves.

So, uhm, where was I again? Ah yes: the third slug.

Upon seeing the slug in the sink, I quickly picked it up to prevent it from flushing down the drain. Then, together with some salad leaves I put it in a previously moistened cup and covered the cup in a way that air could get through but the slug not. I decided to bring it outside after dinner.

But after dinner, it was already late and the weather had dropped to minus temperatures. I thought it was probably smarter to keep the slug indoors overnight and set it free in the daytime when the temperatures were milder and it could find its way into the soil.

The next morning, I was devastated to find an empty cup! The slug was gone and as you can imagine, I felt terrible. ‘Why did I not bring it out immediately!?’ I thought to myself. I turned out to be the one thing I did not want to be: responsible for the premature death of a slug!

Somehow during the night, the slug slipped out and went wandering off through the apartment. I guessed the slug would loose too much moisture to survive in the apartment climate. I searched everywhere for the slug and hoped to find it alive so I could bring it immediately outside. But there was no trace of it. It did not even leave a trail to follow!

So I pondered the message slug was trying to send me and came to the conclusion: no matter how comfortably safe and ‘well-fed’ I may be: freedom is the most valuable asset of my human existence. I should never let attachments to things hinder my journey nor let myself be bribed by comfort to give up my freedom (from attachments to things, thoughts, etc.) for anything. Despite the danger, slug set out on its destined journey. It did what it instinctively needed to do.

But two days later, I found the slug. Unfortunately, my worries were confirmed: the slug was all dried up. I was sad, felt guilty and thought to myself: ‘If I had just brought the slug outside, then nature would have taken its natural course.’ I realised that for the same price, I could have never found the slug again. Either, it could have made it out the window or I would have vacuum cleaned its remains unknowingly. But it reappeared before me and was brought back into my awareness.

Under the new circumstances, slug’s message called for a revision of my above-made conclusion and so I pondered further. This time, slug’s message dawned on me quite clearly: now is the time to take things slow. It’s not the time to take risks and leave your safe environment. The consequences of such action could do more harm. Be patient and don’t rush things.

Thank you my little spirit animal guide.


May my little messenger rest in peace.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Save

Save

Save

Save

Time

Doing a little writing challenge and combining it with my daily sketch for 60 days.

I’ll be writing everyday at least 500 words (unedited) for 31 days. Both challenges are intended for the extra exercise and routine.

Of course I am also wishing to create engaging content for you, too. But please forgive me if I’m just rambling on.

As for today, it marks the third day of my daily sketch and the second day of the writing challenge.

conceptoftime
Time: gouache and gold ink; daily sketch day 3/60

 

I did not intend to paint clocks. And, had I realised what a terribly complex topic writing about the concept of time would turn out to be, I would have painted some simple blotches to which I could have wrote just anything! But I stuck it through, for better of for worse. Tomorrow I’ll need to come up with something simpler to write about. 😉


Time (31 day writing challenge 2/31)

The last couple of years, I’ve had a feeling that time is passing really fast. And I mean, really fast! 2016 felt not different. Is time flying by? Or am I flying with time?

Accepting age as a factor for a fast time perception alone does not satisfy me at all. I really dislike when people blame ‘whatever’ on age. But I’ll give the age argument a fair chance and contemplate its influence on my personal time perception:

Let me travel back to when I was a toddler. I barely remember anything in the first couple of years of my life. Or let’s phrase it differently; I’ve go no memory of time related sensations. I’m guessing, as a child, I still did not have enough awareness to add the time factor into the experiences I was making. Early on in life, my only concern was to quench my thirst or hunger, poop, rest or explore this strange new place I found myself in and be as cute as possible to make sure the ones feeding me (my parents – a concept I did not understand in the beginning of my existence) will continue with keeping me warm, dry and well fed.

Around the age of three and four, memories started to kick in and got archived. Gradually there were more things to remember and more things to look forward to. A great experience wished to be repeated and not so great ones, well, avoided. And before I even realised it happening, I was stuck in either past memories (good or bad) or dreaming or fearing the future, disassociating myself from the present.

I feel that my ability as a child to be more in the present did not stem from my age as such, but from my disinterest in the past and the future and an in-the-moment concentration on what I was experiencing. The more I grew into the time concept of past and future, the more I was jolted out of the ‘timeless’ experience of the now into a decelerated perception of my passing days and existence.

As I grew older troubles and worries derived from challenging circumstances made life harder. Worries in particular are like chains that couple past traumas with future angst. It’s like an endless loop in coding or a dog chasing its tale. There is no clear beginning nor visible end to worries. Looking back I can say that worries decelerated my time perception massively.

Until, well, because I set upon a path to consciously return to the present moment, which in my case would be by means of yoga and meditation I was able to break out of the endless loop and feeling of stagnation.

Time can pass quickly when we are engaged in something we enjoy, but it can also pass quickly while we are engaged in so much ‘doing’ that we miss out on the ‘being’, which in my opinion is also a lesser than desirable state of being. There needs to be a balance of movement and stillness within time.

Thinking about it, from a happy person’s perspective life will not seem much longer than a blink of an eye. For a person who is suffering, life is an endless endurance and time seemingly stands still.

The thing is, circumstances cannot necessarily be influenced directly or even changed. Life will always bring its fair share of challenging situations. There will always be things do that I do not enjoy so much. But, whatever the circumstance, I can always decide to be happy and engage in life with utmost awareness and aliveness to make the best of the present moment and fly with time.

Time should not just fly by nor should it stand still. We should fly with time and make best use of it.

 


For now, I just want to fall into bed!

Good night and sweet dreams.


Happy New Year! To a delightful 2017!

I’m sitting in my office/kitchen looking out the window and admiring snowflakes softly floating from the night sky. It’s the first snowfall this winter season. To me, snowflakes are absolutely beautiful, magical, divine.

When looking at a whole year, snowy nights are rather rare. Maybe this is what makes them so special?

But now back to what I actually showed up to this post for:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope your two first days started off well!

May you experience a juicy year full of

love, light, and positively surprising and consciousness expanding moments!

To a delightful 2017!

Spirit Animal Guides for 2017: whale, octopus, slug, hawk, white peacock
Spirit Animal Guides for 2017: whale, octopus, slug, hawk, white peacock

Every end of the year, I do a shamanic journey to find my spirit animal for the upcoming one. This year is no different, except that it brings with it an abundance of spirit animal guides to join my year’s journey: whale, octopus, slug, hawk and white peacock.

I’m also getting a strong feeling that this year will have its fair share of possibilities and upcoming opportunities. My only concern is whether I’ll be brave enough to seize the opportunity as it arises. The thing about opportunities is: they are fleeting and cannot be thought over for too long. Unfortunately, I can be an ‘over thinker’ and I believe, I’ve missed many a good opportunity because of it. May my spirit animal guides help me out of the maze of over thinking into the vast skies of clarity.

Furthermore, this totem pole marks the first page of a sketch book with 60 blank pages. I received it for my birthday last year and have decided to do a simple sketch (mainly colour) a day. The purpose of this tiny exercise is to relax into whatever is being created. Kind of like a ‘creative stretching’ or ‘colour meditation’. It’s about letting go of the mind and being the observer of where the hand and brush takes me.

It does not have to result in anything other than trying out something new and daring to fail (as in disharmonious colour combinations, or wobbly lines or whatever else I [my judgemental mind] may not be happy with). I think it is important to have the freedom to fail in art. Because, maybe I will created 59 pages of b.s. but the 60th page will be a revelation of new creative potentials. It might even take 60x60page sketchbooks before that happens. Doesn’t matter, it will take as many pages and sketchbooks as it will take. All that counts is that I show up to the page and fill them with lines and colour as well as breathe deeply and relax into the activity.

page 2 of 60
page 2 of 60

 


Time to breathe deeply. Good night.


Advent Day 24: Prayer for Peace

For the last day of Advent a quick illustration:

A prayer for peace
A prayer for peace

 

This one was inspired by the rather contemplative and introspective mood I’ve been carrying around with me all day.

I also feel the urge to retreat, light candles (nope, I do not have a Christmas tree, because I feel sorry for the trees [no judgement – it’s just another ‘thing’ of mine 😉 ] ), do yoga, pranayama and meditate.

I wish to express my gratitude on this day for being loved, safe, warm and sound.

So, for this evening, I’m keeping it short and wishing you all a very


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

May all beings in all the worlds be peaceful and happy.