April Struggles – Reality Check

April’s original blog schedule

At the end of March, I decided to join #buildapril on Twitter. This required to draw buildings and structures.

Owl

With participation in #buildapril, I wished to improve my drawing skills for backgrounds, scene settings, lighting and shading with the use of angles and straight lines.

Of course, I was also planning on posting the results to this blog, too.

The unexpected downfall

falling

And then, everything went silent – zero posts – all through April (I am blushing with my head hanging low).

My sincere apologies to all my followers. I was travelling through the hell of my own making, but learned a lot along the way – imagine and picture: Dante Alighieri’s ‘Divina Comedìa’ – I was there and forced to scrutinise the reasons for my downfall.

Then it dawned on me

Frankly, I was embarrassed by my creations. So, I sheepishly decided to only post them on Twitter hoping they may go unnoticed by the big crowd (which they did).thedawning

Because, I thought that all I produced was but a miserable outlet of shabby lines, I felt uninspired and had little to no motivation anymore to stride ahead and experiment further – possibly missing out on a creative breakthrough!

Lame excuses begone!

I have this thing with ‘excuses’. I really hate them as they bore me to death. They are nothing but a waste of time and energy.

I do not appreciate when other people waste my time and energy with lame excuses nor when I do it myself.excusesbegone

Yes sure, I was busy with many other things during April.

But the bottom line is that with #buildapril, I stepped outside my artistic comfort zone.

By being dissatisfied with the results, I dreaded it so much that, at one point, I stopped trying altogether.

Dishes to the rescue

dishesWhile busy with the simple task of washing dishes and filled with guilt feelings about neglecting my blog, I realised that I was too ashamed to publish what I created as it did not meet my own expectations.

Truth be told, I just wanted to spare myself from embarrassment and possible humiliation.

At the end of the day

As unpleasant as this inner struggle may have been, it was necessary. It helped me realise how the need to be perfect can be such a huge obstacle to move on.

The way I see it, perfectionism can be a big block for motivation to dare, to change perspectives, methods, techniques, as well as to experiment and innovate. It may well be the main culprit in my writer’s and creative block.

starsSure, it is good to shoot for the stars, just, while doing so it’s good to keep a healthy portion of practicality.

It’s important to remember that it may take longer than expected to get there.

But this should not create a feeling of discouragement altogether.

Let’s face it, if we never try, we’ll never succeed.


So let us all shoot for the stars!


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2 thoughts on “April Struggles – Reality Check

  1. Although I’m committed to drawing every day I sometimes can’t use the Twitter monthly theme to support that as other things catch my eye or the theme itself just isn’t practical or doesn’t grab my attention – nothing from me on #movemay for example. I’m much better when the theme is more open!

    1. Thank you for commenting, Jean. I really admire your consistency in posting a drawing everyday!

      I think I may also need a certain amount of creative freedom to perform well. Often, even when my head says: “Oh, I want to draw xyz.” My hand may lead me down a completely different road, when I let this happen, it’s usually good.

      But, once in a while, I’ll try to dare something new and unfamiliar, maybe even scary to me. Though, I could be a little easier on myself when I am not pleased with the results and relax with things that come easy, until I am ready to try again.

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